Weird Canada Redux

I was reading the news this morning when I came across this little tidbit. Some employees of La Ronde (our big amusement park here in Montréal) were burning the pyrotechnics left over from the fireworks competition that is held each summer at La Ronde. To do this safely, they carry the fireworks to the huge parking lot and burn them in a closed concrete bunker that only has a small air hole in its top. Everything went as planned until one of the rockets touched off and flew out of the hole. Not only did it rise high into the air, but it landed 30 meters away in the bed of the truck used to carry the pyrotechnics. To make things even worse, the back of the truck was still full of fireworks. The workers seeing how things were going from bad to worse ran like hell and were not hurt in the ensuing conflagration. The resulting explosion sent bits and pieces flying up to 60 meters away. Martin Roy, the spokesman for La Ronde, stated that "It was an accident due to really bad luck, and they would resume the destruction of the pyrotechnics as soon as possible." Hopefully they'll have enough trucks to get the job finished...

Weird sights

Since I've had my rant for the month, let us go on to lighter things. Can you possibly tell me who in the world would buy a Walt Disney "Cinderella" toaster. Now I can understand a Cinderella lunch box, book bag, pencil case, sneakers, or something like that for kids but a toaster? Yes it's true. If you go to Zellers you will be able to buy your very own Cinderella toaster. I'm not joking, they actually sell Cinderella toaster's there. (No they are not selling them in the toy department, but in the kitchen appliances for adults.) Even stranger, if they are selling them that means that someone is actually buying them. If it's a trend, then why not Bugs Bunny toasters which would say "what's up doc?" to let you know the toast was done or a Snow White apple peeler?
On a street corner in Montreal I saw a really strange personage the other day. (In a town of strange people he was really strange) Imagine a guy, trying to look like a gangsta rapper. He was wearing low (really low, somewhere around mid-thigh) jeans. You could see his not too clean jockey boxers, and tucked into his jockey's was a rumpled undershirt tight over his pot belly. Now you must add big fake silver jewelry, small sunglasses crooked on his nose, a hairnet and a baseball cap set crooked. To top it all off, like a cherry on a sundae, he was wearing his mother's fur coat. Of course this guy must have been almost six feet tall and his mother was obviously about five feet. The overall effect had to be seen to be believed. There he was on the corner trying to look tough, flipping a "loony" (for those who don't know, a Canadian 1$ coin) and all around him people kind of looking away with an half concealed grin on their faces. Mind you he probably thought that he was the epitome of cool. All of this and to top it off, he was as white as wonder bread.

All day today, Blogger seems to have become bilingual. Certain directions and words are in German. Not everything, just certain things. Why German? Deity only knows, I use French and English on my computer so why German. As we say in French "mystère de boule de gomme" (loosely translated "bubble gum mystery " don't ask me why.)

Weird Canada

Since summer vacation is here and is conducive to levity, here is a collection of weird and wonderful little stories from our great country Canada.

WHO WOULD HAVE SUSPECTED?

In April 2001, police in Vancouver, British Columbia, ended a three-year crime spree when they arrested 64 year old Eugene Mah and his 32-year-old son, Avery. The Mahs had been stealing assorted lawn and garden items from homes in their neighborhood, including garbage cans, lawn decorations, recycling boxes, and realty signs. Why did they steal them? Nobody knows. Eugene Mah is a real estate tycoon worth a reported $13 million. One local psychiatrist said the thefts may be due to an obsessive compulsive hoarding disorder. They reportedly stole a neighbor's doormat ... and each of the 14 other doormats the neighbor bought as replacements.

BEAVER FEVER

In June 2003, two disc jockeys in Toronto caused a SARS panic in the Dominican Republic. Z103.5 Morning Show hosts Scott Fox and Dave Blezard thought it would be funny to call the resort where their co-worker, Melanie Martin, was vacationing. They told the desk clerk that Martin had smuggled a "rare Canadian beaver" into their country. But the desk clerk, who didn't speak much English, thought he'd heard the word "fever." With SARS (Severe
Acute Respiratory Syndrome) being big news at the time and Toronto being one of the cities where the disease had spread, the clerk panicked-and locked the woman in her room. The entire hotel wasn't quarantined, according to the station's news manager,' but staff were at the point of contacting medical authorities when the disc jockeys finally convinced them that it was all a misunderstanding. Martin was released from her room that afternoon.

COMING IN FOR A LANDING
Lucette St. Louis, a 66-year-old woman from Corbeil, Ontario, was rounding up three runaway pigs owned by her son, Marc, when she became the victim of a bizarre accident. One of the 180-pound pigs had wandered into the road and a passing car hit it. The impact sent the pig airborne, landing on top of Mrs. St. Louis and breaking her leg in two places. "Well, at least," she said, "I can tell my grandchildren that pigs really do fly."

DEATH MERCHANT

Roman Panchyshyn, a 47-year-old Winnipeg retailer, upset some of his fellow residents when he started selling $65 sweatshirts that read "Winnipeg, Murder Capital of Canada Escape The Fear" in his store. The shirts showed the city skyline dripping in blood. "We spend hundreds of thousands of dollars yearly to promote Winnipeg to the world," complained City Councillor Harry Lazarenko, "and I don't want this to give us a black eye." So he contacted the premier to see if Panchyshyn could be stopped. He couldn't-the shirts are accurate. Winnipeg has the highest murder rate in Canada. Said the unapologetic Panchyshyn, "The truth hurts."

WEIRD CANADIAN RECORDS

• On August 30, 1995, Sean Shannon of Canada recited Hamlet's "To be or not to be" soliloquy in 23.8 seconds an average of 655 words a minute.
• On August 17, 1991, 512 dancers of the Royal Scottish Dance Society (Toronto branch) set the record for the largest genuine Scottish country dance (a reel).
• In 1988 Palm Dairies of Edmonton created the world's largest ice cream sundae 24,900 kg. (54,895 lbs.).
• In 1993 the Kitchener Waterloo Hospital Auxiliary filled a bowl with 2,390 kg (5,269 lbs.) of strawberries.
• Four hundred mothers in Vancouver broke the record for mass breast feeding in 2002.
• In Feb. 2000, 1,588 couples at the Sarnia Sports Centre broke the record for most kissing in one place at one time.
• Dave Pearson holds the record for clearing all 15 balls from a standard pool table in 26.5 seconds at Pepper's Bar in Windsor, Ontario, in 1997.
• In 1998 1,000 University of Guelph students formed the longest human conveyor belt, laying down in a row and rolling a surfboard over their bodies. In 1999 they set the record for simultaneous soap -bubble blowing.

Stories taken from the Bathroom Reader collection, a hilarious collection of strange facts and trivia. For lovers of trivia and weird miscellaneous information, it's a great read.