Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Dear Pedestrians in answer to Jazz

My lil sister Jazz wrote a blog today about cyclists being a menace for pedestrians. So seeing as I'm an avid cyclist I thought I would share my thoughts about pedestrians.

Dear Pedestrians,
Most cities in the world have specially made places for pedestrians to walk on. These special paths should be only for you, dear pedestrian, bikes should not ride on them and cars even less so. They belong exclusively to you... They are called sidewalks. Now cities are also building bike paths. These may look like super wide sidewalks but they are not. They are made for bikes and bikes travel quite a bit faster than you do and cyclists just hate having to dodge around you as you stroll along, without a care in the world. How do you know if it is a bike path? Well that should be easy, there are usually big yellow signs with a black bicycle on it and sometimes there is a big white bike painted on the ground. Is there a little black pedestrian on a yellow sign or a little white man painted on the path? Nope... well then you sure as hell ain't on a sidewalk... Another clue should be the yellow line painted in the middle, very much like a highway.  (see examples below)
Now I really don't mind if you want to get yourself killed, but if that is your fondest wish, go for a walk on the highway with the cars because hitting you at 30 km/hr will really warp my front wheel and lead to my having serious bumps and scrapes. Also please remember, that baby carriages do not qualify as bikes, neither does your 3 year old on his tricycle qualify you to be walking along the bike path. 
A concerned cyclist...

Bike path
Sidewalk

5 comments:

secret agent woman said...

Where I live there are virtually no bikes lanes or sidewalks. It's a real problem.

Debbie said...

ha ha ha!!! great post!!altho in an effort to hide for cars I have ridden my bike on the sidewalk!!! :)

Jazz said...

I did note in the comments that yes, it was really one-sided, brought on by an idiot cyclist. I figured there was a post to be done about the idiot pedestrians who stand smack in the middle of the bike lane while waiting for the light to change.

Mr. Jazz said...

You go bro! And today's word verifcation: WAXICU

Robert the Skeptic said...

I live in a normal suburban residential neighborhood, sidewalks everywhere. A majority of my neighbors like to take walks... where do they walk? In the street!!

I want to ask them if the batteries are low on the sidewalks. or what?!