As we all know Canadians have a reputation of being a staid, calm, rather bland people not given to the craziness of our neighbours. A kind of suburban type of people. But let it not be said that we are completely without wackiness. In July of 2007, I wrote a blog about strange happenings in the Great White North, and like all good blogs, here is the sequel.
In the spirit of full disclosure the information contained herein is from the latest Bathroom Reader, "Uncle John's Unsinkable Bathroom Reader". For those of you who love to read miscellaneous tidbits of interesting factoids, these are the books for you. Go have a look, there is something for everyone...;o)
NEWS JUNKIEIn 2007 the Edmonton Sun interviewed a 70-year-old woman identified only as "Maggie" who claimed she devoured the Edmonton Sun every day literally. For the previous seven years, she'd cut the newspaper into strips and eaten it because, she said, it "tastes good." The woman decided to come forward after doctors removed a massive ball of paper that was lodged in her oesophagus.
THESE BANK FEES ARE CRIMINALIn 2007 Christopher Emmorey tried to rob a bank in Peterborough, Ontario. Instead of asking a teller for all the money, for some reason Emmorey demanded just $5,000. The teller replied that she had only $200 on hand, adding that because he wasn't a customer of that bank, he'd have to pay a $5 withdrawal fee. Emmorey waited white the clerk did the paperwork which he signed and gave him $195. He was arrested an hour later.
ICE DANCING WINSIn 2002 a group of softball players met in a Calgary park for a late night game. At the next field over, a group of croquet players were also playing a late night game. A few hours later, six players from both groups were in the hospital (two were seriously injured) the result of a brawl over which sport was the "manliest."
WHO MOVED THE CHEESE?La Fromagerie Boivin, one of Quebec's largest cheese manufacturers, dropped about a ton of cheese into the Saguenay River in 2004. They thought that aging the cheese underwater for twelve months would give it extra moisture and improve its taste and texture. Did it work? We may never know. In October 2005, the cheesemaker announced that despite the use of thousands of dollars in high tech locating equipment, divers were unable to find the 2,000 pounds of lost cheese.
TATTOO YOULane Jensen, an Alberta tattoo artist, has a tattoo of a large breasted cowgirl on his left leg. In 2007 he decided his cowgirl didn't look buxom enough. So his tattoo got "breast" implants dime sized bags of silicone inserted into his leg under the tattoo. Two weeks later, Jensen lost a liter of lymphatic fluid from his leg his body had rejected the implants. "I guess my girl wasn't meant to have 3 D breasts," he said.
WHAT GOES AROUND...In 2007 a 15 year old in Hamilton, Ontario, was sledding one night and decided he wanted to tag a local bridge with some graffiti. He left his gloves and cell phone in the sled and rappelled down the side of the bridge. Suddenly the rope shifted and the boy panicked. He tried to scurry back up but somehow ended up hanging by his feet, upside down. As he tried to wiggle free, his shirt came off. And it was February. And it was 5'F. He was there for two hours before someone finally heard his screams for help and saved him.
THE SMOKING GUNKeep It Simple, a bar in Edmonton, was in danger of being closed in 2003 when officials found out it was not abiding by the citywide smoking ban. The only place smoking is legal is in liquor licensed bars. But Keep It Simple is a bar for recovering alcoholics it doesn't serve alcohol. It does allow smoking, which helps many alcoholics not to drink. But because it didn't have a liquor license, it was illegal for people to smoke there. So in order to let its non drinking customers smoke, Keep It Simple applied for and received a liquor license, which it doesn't use, because it doesn't sell liquor.
