I seem to be pretty much blogged out these days. Inspiration just doesn't come easily and when I get home in the cold, damp November darkness, I'm too bushed to get my act together much less blog. So I've decided to take the easy way out. Here are a couple of puns taken from the Bathroom Reader Series. Enjoy....
A MAN HEARD ABOUT the discovery of gold in California. He immediately packed up his possessions and moved out west. Six months later, he gave up and returned home. Why? It didn't pan out.
A GUY GOES INTO a hardware store and asks the manager for a tool to break up the hard ground. The manager shows him a wall of shovels, hoes, and other tools and says, "Take your pick."
A RANCHER WAS taking inventory of his livestock. He figured that it wouldn't take him too long because he knew for a fact that he had exactly 196 head of cattle. But then he discovered that he actually had 200 head? How'd he find out? He rounded them up.
"DOCTOR, DOCTOR, you've got to help me!" "What's the trouble?" "One night 1 dream that I'm a car's muffler. And then the next night, I dream that I'm part of the wheel." "Why is that such a big deal?" "I wake up exhausted and tired."
JOHN LOVES WHEAT-wheat bread, wheat rolls, wheat muffins-he can't get enough wheat. Only problem: He's allergic to it. Whenever he eats it, he breaks out in a rash. But does that stop him from eating it? No, he's a real gluten for punishment.
THE STATE TREASURER had to balance the budget, so he sliced a little bit off the proposed funding for schools, parks, and other services. It was the most successful fund razor of the year.
TOM IS OBSESSED with monorails. All he ever talks about is monorails-especially how amazing it is that they travel with the use of just a single rail. He has a one-track mind.
A MAN HEARD ABOUT the discovery of gold in California. He immediately packed up his possessions and moved out west. Six months later, he gave up and returned home. Why? It didn't pan out.
A GUY GOES INTO a hardware store and asks the manager for a tool to break up the hard ground. The manager shows him a wall of shovels, hoes, and other tools and says, "Take your pick."
A RANCHER WAS taking inventory of his livestock. He figured that it wouldn't take him too long because he knew for a fact that he had exactly 196 head of cattle. But then he discovered that he actually had 200 head? How'd he find out? He rounded them up.
"DOCTOR, DOCTOR, you've got to help me!" "What's the trouble?" "One night 1 dream that I'm a car's muffler. And then the next night, I dream that I'm part of the wheel." "Why is that such a big deal?" "I wake up exhausted and tired."
JOHN LOVES WHEAT-wheat bread, wheat rolls, wheat muffins-he can't get enough wheat. Only problem: He's allergic to it. Whenever he eats it, he breaks out in a rash. But does that stop him from eating it? No, he's a real gluten for punishment.
THE STATE TREASURER had to balance the budget, so he sliced a little bit off the proposed funding for schools, parks, and other services. It was the most successful fund razor of the year.
TOM IS OBSESSED with monorails. All he ever talks about is monorails-especially how amazing it is that they travel with the use of just a single rail. He has a one-track mind.
5 comments:
And hear I sit, desperately searching for a punny comment... Nothing. Besides, I should be doing the laundry but I'm too wrung out. :p
Groan...
You might have had a nice pun if the post had been about music... ;o)
LIke the member of parliament said, "It's all fun an games until someone loses an 'aye!'"
Oh, my. First your sisters African safari dog joke and now these. Some sort of odd wind blowing through Canada.
Sometimes a body needs a good groan.
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